Our local hospital does not allow for VBACs (Vaginal Birth After C-Section). A hospital 30 miles away does. When speaking to a friend about that hospital, my first question wasn’t about the birthing rooms or doctors or food, it was, “Do you know if they have a level 3 NICU?” I will never choose to deliver at any hospital that does not have one. I worry that if I ever have another child something else will go wrong.
And in honor of Prematurity Awareness Month, John’s insurance company informed us that there is a $500,000 hospital charge pending from Fiona’s NICU stay.
The two oldest posts on this blog detail Fiona’s birth, so I am not going to rehash it. I tell people that even though I am very positive, I am very much traumatized by the whole experience. It’s still in my dreams. I talk about it enough that I will not go into many details, but I am getting tired of hearing new moms talk about their pregnancies and labor and delivery. I feel cheated and left out and usually leave the room. And I still have a hard time seeing pregnant women.
I know I lucked out in many ways. I have a beautiful daughter that I love more than anything in the world, she had no major health issues in the NICU, and after weeks of struggling and frustration, I was able to nurse (almost exclusively now, obviously can’t do it when I’m in class, but otherwise, she gets no bottles).
So if you know someone or meet someone with a preemie, know that they have been through hell to have their child home and congratulate them. If the baby was just born, send them flowers and offer to walk their dog or feed their cat. Many preemie moms don’t get to celebrate the birth of their child the way that other moms do.
Here is a list I got from the message board I frequent, The Preemie Palace:
You know you're the parent of a preemie when...
1.You use strange initials (C-PAP, CCs, NICU, NG) when discussing your child.
2.You actually remember how many CCs make up an ounce.
3.You count her weight in grams.
4. The skin on your hands is peeling from washing so often!
5.You hesitate when someone asks his/her age, but you know exactly how much
he/she weighs!
6. The answer to "How old is your baby?" is a story 30 minutes long!
7. When someone asks his birthday, you reply, "Which one?"
8. You start to understand some of the things they say on ER!
9. You turn into Kung-Fu Mom when someone tries to touch your baby.
10. You attempt to measure just how much spit-up he/she just had before you
clean it up!
11. You know how much he weighs before putting him on the scale at the doctor's
office
12. You cry at Maternity Ward and get mad at Baby Story.
13. You see a 7lb newborn and say "Wow! She's so BIG!"
14. Your baby is months old before she can even go to the mall.
15. You have never explained why your baby is on an apnea monitor.
16. When someone says how tiny your baby is, you argue that she is huge -- and
to demonstrate, you whip out pictures of her in NICU.
17. You do a health check on people when they come to your house to visit .
18. You make people wash their hands before going near your child.
19. You want to scream when someone says that she just wants to have this baby
now - at week 28, 32, or 34.
20. You are so amazed when someone actually tells you your baby is big for his
age!
21. You tried to find a place to buy newborn size diapers in bulk.
22. You called half your relatives when the baby grew out of their first pair of
pajamas!
23. You never take your child for granted.
24. You worry about RSV season and it is still weeks away . . .
25. You know what "RSV" stands for.
26. You donate his/her tiny clothes to the NICU and marvel that they seem so
small - when they were too darn large!
27. Your daughter gets a simple cold and her doc sees her within the hour!
28. People say, "She CAN'T be __ old...she's too little!"
29. It has taken them 5 months to grow INTO newborn clothes!
30. You pick up 2 pounds of ground beef and think that your baby was born
weighing less than that!
31. You buy "Purell" in bulk
32. You know about oxygen tanks and regulators more than the company supplying
it to the airplanes
33. You can stare at your baby for hours when she sleeps
34. The security guards just wave you by when they see you come in the front
door of the hospital.
35. When someone asks what scent you're wearing, you reply, "Germ-X" without
batting an eye.
36. In the course of a day you have wanted to slap and bear hug the same NICU
nurse.
37.The statement "breastfeeding is simple and natural" makes you laugh -- or
cry, depending on the day and the hour.
38. You could drive the route from your house to the hospital in your sleep...
and maybe you have.
39. You can't remember what you talked about before feeding schedules, diapers,
and growth charts.
40. The sound of your baby crying is beautiful, not annoying.
41. You not only know what "bilirubin" is, you have had several extensive
conversations about it.
42. You spend the first several winters of your child's life at home so you can avoid RSV!
43. You don't need a nurse to explain what the different numbers on the monitors mean when you visit the hospital again.
44. Or you hear the monitor beeping and know what it means by the sound.
45. You can even tell if it was your baby's monitor that beeped, or another baby's... without even looking!
Here is a photo of Fiona looking like she is testifying – to how cute she is!
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